How do you define success?
No matter how you define it, consider this:
If you’re pursuing success instead of what makes you feel successful, you’re on your way to burnout.
Take a moment today to think about what makes you feel successful.
Chase that.
Oops, I did it again. I came off as arrogant. Now, I’ve been called arrogant 4 times during my professional journey.
Each time it hurt my heart. Because I don’t mean to be perceived that way. Ever. Full stop.
Arrogance is the flip side of my self-confidence strength. And when I show up as overly self-confident in the eyes of others, they can see me as arrogant. This used to be (and sometimes still is) a blind spot for me.
The missing piece is that in most cases I am using my self-confidence strength with positive intent — I want to help. I want to cheerlead. I want to make sure someone else sees their own greatness.
But that doesn’t always work. And now that I am more self-aware of the strengths I can overdo (perseverance is another one — boy can I look stubborn sometimes), I can see and feel it happening. And most of the time I can dial it back and save myself.
But not always. Ahh, still a work in progress.
What strengths do you tend to overdo? And are they limiting your effectiveness when you don’t realize how they’re affecting others?
Think about it. And if you need help uncovering your overdone strengths, reach out. I’ve got a terrific assessment that shines the light on them for you — so you can better manage perceptions in the future.
Blind Spots and Strengths Gone Awry Read More »
Leaders are no good for their people if they’re exhausted, overstressed, or burned out.
One of the best things you can do for your team is to make sure you’re taking care of you — your body and your mind. You can’t be effective if you’re always running on empty.
Oh, and remember that asking for help from a trusted advisor, friend, or professional is a sign of strength, not weakness. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Check In On Yourself Read More »
If so, you’re not alone. In fact, a fear of public speaking affects anywhere from 40 to 75 percent of the population, depending on what studies you look at. There’s even a medical term for it: glossophobia.
Here are some tips that will help:
And finally, remember that being nervous is actually a good thing. How so?
Well, it means you care — about your audience and about your topic.
That’s good stuff.
Want some more tips? Send me a note through Comvia Group’s contact page and ask me for my favorite breathing exercises for settling nerves and preparing to speak. I’ll send them to you.
Does Public Speaking Make You Anxious? Read More »
Many of my clients and friends know that I wanted to be an actor when I grew up.
I actually did a lot of theatre in my younger days, and even have a bachelor’s degree (and teaching certification) in Speech & Theatre Arts.
One of my favorite principles from my training in improvisational theater, or improv for short, is “Yes, and…”.
It means saying yes to what your scene partner offers, and then building on it.
I actually teach improv to clients to this day — in fact I do a whole workshop on it! Why?
Getting good at it helps leaders:
It’s a fun program that is both educational and team building in nature. No prior experience with improvisation is necessary. And participants should come ready to step outside of their comfort zones — and have fun!
Want to offer a program like this to people on your team? Let’s talk.
Workshop and Team-building Fun! Read More »
Your time is valuable. So is the time of the people you lead. That’s why it’s so important to keep your commitments. A big mistake I see leaders make often is breaking commitments with a simple act: cancelling meetings at the last minute.
What does doing so say? One clear message is that you don’t value the time of the people who were expecting to meet with you.
The result? Let’s name a few: frustration, feelings of disrespect, damage to the trust you have with them….
Not good.
Here are some tips.
Show your people that you are reliable, and that you value their time by keeping your commitments to meetings. Start and end them on time, too. Doing so will help you build stronger relationships with your team and create a more trusting and productive environment.
Before You Cancel That Meeting… Read More »
As a business leader, entrepreneur, and human being I’ve had my share of failures.
When I think back on the massive pile of ideas that I’ve tried to turn into businesses over the years, I’m surprised I’ve only failed a few times instead of hundreds.
The lessons I learned by failing, even though it may have stung pretty badly each time, are lessons I never would have learned if I had never tried. But the biggest lesson has been learning to understand when it’s time to pivot, or even let go.
Failure is part of the road to success: for you, for your team, and for your family. Be flexible when you need to find another path. Be open to a new perspective. And most importantly, be honest with yourself when something is simply not working.
Think about this when you lead or manage your team. How can you make a change that will increase the likelihood of success? What can you let go of that’s holding you back? What can you do to help yourself, and others, get off the path to a truly epic fail?
And remember — when failure happens, how you coach your team through the aftermath can make all the difference.
Henry Ford once said, “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” When you can, help your people learn from their failures. And when there is no silver lining or learning, help them put it all behind them and move on.
Persevere or Let Go? Read More »
In today’s fast-paced world, it can be difficult to give our full attention to anything. We are constantly bombarded with stimuli, from our phones to our email to our social media feeds. It’s often challenging to focus on the task at hand, let alone on the people around us.
However, as leaders, it is essential that we are intentional about paying attention. When we give our full attention to others, we show them that we value them and their contributions. We also create a space where they feel safe to share their ideas and concerns.
A few more benefits of giving others our full attention…
Here are a few tips for paying better attention:
Paying attention is a skill that takes time and practice. The benefits are well worth the effort.
Try to pay more attention to how well you pay attention today. If you’re finding that you’re distracted instead of fully committed to a conversation, identify one thing you can do to avoid that in the future.
The Value of Attention Read More »
With all the interactions we have with one another each day, it’s not realistic to think that every one of them can be perfect.
You’re not perfect, your team isn’t perfect, and you know what? That’s okay. When we put on the pressure for things to be just right or for everything to work out the way we wish it always would, we set ourselves and our people up for disappointment.
The same goes for when you are preparing for a presentation or speech. Look, most people (if not all) feel some level of nervousness when they speak in public. When I coach presenters and work to help them get to the root of their anxiousness, we often uncover that the fear of being imperfect is the main culprit. It…
I get it. Nobody likes to look silly in front of others (well, I don’t mind but that’s a story for another day). And you do need to prepare well in order to present well.
But when we let the pursuit of perfection paralyze us, nobody wins.
Imagine if everyone — every creative person, every parent, every leader — could offer the gifts they have to share with the world without fearing they’re not good enough, smart enough, or whatever enough.
Wow, I like that image.
I believe that good communication and leadership require intention, thought, practice, and care. Does that mean all communications must be perfect?
No.
Don’t go for perfect. Aim to make your communication matter to someone.
Then you both win.
The Pursuit of Perfection Causes All Sorts of Problems Read More »
There are many skills and traits that make a good leader, and I believe that compassion is one that many leaders don’t talk about or leverage enough.
The ability and willingness to work to understand and empathize with the struggles of others, and to respond with kindness and support, is what we’re talking about here. And research has shown that compassionate leadership can have a range of benefits for teams and organizations. For example, when leaders show compassion towards their team members, they’re more likely to feel valued and supported — feelings that almost surely will increase productivity and engagement (and lower turnover rates).
Compassionate leaders are also willing to be vulnerable with their team members. This means sharing their own struggles and weaknesses, and being open about their own challenges. By doing so, leaders build stronger relationships with their team members, and create a culture of trust and understanding.
If you’re looking to develop a more compassionate approach to leadership, here are some tips:
Compassion can help build stronger relationships, increase engagement and productivity, and create a more positive workplace culture.
That’s a win-win for everyone.
