Virtual Communication

It’s How You Say It…

When it comes to effective communication, how you make people feel often speaks louder than the words you use.

We all know (and studies show) that emotional awareness and empathy play a crucial role in successful interactions.

That’s why I cringe when I hear workplace phrases that dismiss them like, “check your emotions at the door…”. 🤢

Humans aren’t emotionless robots or machines, and emotions are a key component of communication.

Why Emotions Matter in Communication

  1. 1. Building Trust: People are more likely to trust and connect with you if they feel understood and valued.
  2. 2. Enhancing Engagement: Emotionally engaging communication captures attention and keeps your audience interested.
  3. 3. Creating Impact: The feelings you evoke can leave a lasting impression, making your message more memorable.

Tips for Effective Emotional Communication

  • Be Authentic: Genuine emotions resonate more with people. Be yourself and let your true feelings show.
  • Use Positive Body Language: Maintain eye contact if you are comfortable doing so, smile, and use open gestures to convey warmth and openness.
  • Mind Your Tone: Your tone of voice can convey enthusiasm, empathy, and sincerity. Pay attention to how you say things, not just what you say.
  • • Listen Actively: Show that you care by listening attentively and responding thoughtfully.

By focusing on how you make people feel, you can enhance your communication skills and build stronger, more meaningful connections.

Remember, it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it that truly matters.

Michael Piperno is a communication coach and executive presence expert. His insights empower leaders to communicate effectively and authentically.

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Before You Send That Email…

Or text message over Slack or Teams…

Pause for a moment and consider if the message would benefit from a more rich experience — for the human on the other side.

Would hearing your tone of voice make sure the message is received in the way you intend?

Would being able to see your facial expression help ensure the message is not misunderstood?

Or perhaps it’s a difficult or touchy topic that would benefit from being face to face? Empathy is easier to demonstrate when it’s delivered with your voice and body language.

With so much of our communications happening through keyboards on our devices, it’s easy to forget how much room there is for misunderstanding — when you only have words to rely on.

Sometimes, you need more than words.

Michael Piperno is a communication coach and executive presence expert. His insights empower leaders to communicate effectively and authentically.

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Four Zoom Don’ts

When putting together my latest workshop, I had fun creating visual examples of the mistakes people make when they are on video. Here are the four top offenders I see quite often.

1. The Submarine Periscope

Zoom Mistake 1

If we can see more ceiling than we do you, readjust! Make sure your face is in the top two-thirds of the screen.

2. The Backlit Extravaganza

Zoom Don't 2

Make sure the room is well lit to avoid grainy video, but don’t put bright light, such as a window, directly behind you. Light yourself from the front.

3. The Double Doozy

Zoom Don't 3

Virtual backgrounds seem like a fun idea until they become distracting. If you use a virtual background, get a green screen or design a background that works well when you test it. And remember, keep it professional when your credibility is on the line. This is called The Double Doozy because the background isn’t the only problem. The lighting on my face is too dark as well. Ugh.

4. The Nose Hair Investigation

Zoom Don't 4

This is a flattering one, right? No, it’s not. Put your laptop on a stack of books or get a stand.

Test and Test, Then Look Your Best

Your video doesn’t have to be studio-quality, but with a little testing of viewing angles and lighting you can ensure you look your best on your next Zoom call.

For more tips, ask me about my new workshop on Remote Leadership Presence.

Good Zoom Positioning

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Listening Beyond the Words

What’s Below the Surface?

The words we say don’t usually carry the full weight of what we mean. Think about a recent text or Slack message you’ve received that required more than one message back and forth to make clear. Would it have been easier to decipher if it was said to you face to face? Or even on a voice call? You’ll probably answer, “Yes.”

But that’s only scratching the surface on what can go wrong in our everyday communications. From distractions to rushing to choosing the wrong medium for the message, the opportunity for misunderstanding is everywhere. 

When we work hard to be present and in the moment, and thoughtful about how we communicate with each other, we set each other up for success — in the form of better understanding the meaning behind our words and in being able to take appropriate action.

The Below the Surface Challenge

When you listen to others this week, whether through hearing or through digital messaging, remind yourself to listen for what’s lying below the surface

  • Listen and read for ideas, not just facts. 
  • Understand that there is emotion behind every piece of communication, even when it’s text-based.
  • Listen for the real message behind the words. Use the speaker’s tone of voice and nonverbal communications to give clues to what’s going on in the speaker’s mind. 
  • Re-read and revise your digital messages to consider the needs of the receiver. Try to keep the gap of potential misunderstanding as small as possible.

Let’s Do More to Set Each Other Up for Success

When you try to see and hear what’s behind the words, you’re more likely to respond in an appropriate way — one that usually avoids unnecessary back and forth. 

And when you’re the sender of the communication, stop to think about what context you need to provide to help the person understand what you mean, and to take the next step with confidence.

Photo by Alexander Hafemann on Unsplash

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Tips for More Effective Email Communication

8 Tips for Better Email Communications

I have a love-hate relationship with email. On the amorous side, email makes business communication fast and much easier than the days of fax machines and overnight shipments of documents and disks. The unsexy side of email is that it is overused and abused, causing miscommunication to run amok.

Here are some tips to help make sure the communications we send through email are productive and efficient.

1. Remember the Human

That’s right. Every email you send will be read and interpreted by another human being. One who will read your words through their own lens — applying their personal filters to what they are reading, and assigning emotion to your words without the benefit of seeing or hearing you. 

Ask yourself, “How can I ensure this email comes across as I intend it to?” If the answer is that you can’t, pick up the phone or make a video call instead. 

2. Use Email for Email, Not for Chat

One-line emails say a lot. Nonverbally, they can quicky communicate the following:

  • I’m angry with you
  • You’re not worthy of the time it takes to compose a fully formed message

When you’re in Slack or Teams, or even text messaging on your phone, short messages are expected. Plus, these systems leverage emojis and animated gifs to help lighten up messages that could be construed as terse or angry. 

When you have more to say, use email — and keep it professional. Say hello (not “Hey”), compose your message, and close it with a signoff. Treat it like a letter but keep it short and use bullets to help people read the message quickly. Chances are that if you’re writing a feature article length email, you need a meeting instead.

When you are just zipping out a one-line message, use chat. And feel free to be more casual (but still professional).

3. Use the Subject Line Well

If you want your email to be read, don’t be generic in your subject line. Use it to preview the key message or action item inside the digital envelope, and also to help your recipient find it later in a sea of flagged messages. For example, instead of a subject that reads, “Opinion?”, you could say, “Input Needed Today on Final Design Concept”. The former is ambiguous. The latter is specific and helpful to the recipient.

4. CC Everyone (No, Please Don’t)

Try your best to send the email “To” one person — the one who is supposed to fully read it and take action. If there is more than one person who needs to take action, then by all means include any others in the “To” field.

Reserve the CC field for people who need to know what’s going on but are neither expected to take action nor respond. Also, ask yourself if everyone in the CC field really needs to be included. 

5. Use “Reply All” Sparingly 

If you and your team are more careful to avoid overusing the CC field by being more conscious of who really needs to be included in an email, then you should naturally use the “Reply All” feature less often. 

Before you Reply All, stop and think, “Does everyone on this chain really need to see my reply?” If the answer is “No,” then consider only replying to the people who need to be included. 

Now, if you’re using reply all to cover your butt due to a toxic culture, that’s a whole different problem that this article can’t solve. 

6. Proofread

Emails that are full of errors will damage your credibility. Slow down, take a breath, and re-read your emails before hitting Send.

7. Avoid Angry Mail

I’ve written and sent a few emails when I’ve been angry. Each one ranks high on my list of least professional moments during my 25-year career. 

When you’re angry, take a step back. Don’t respond right away. 

I actually find that writing out a draft response helps me get my thoughts together. I compose it in Word or some other program to ensure it never actually gets sent. Once I’ve settled down, I pick up the phone or schedule a face to face conversation to talk with the other party.

And if that can’t happen, I edit my Angry Mail message down to something supportive and factual, remembering not to put anything in my response that I would not be fine seeing on a billboard with my name on it.

8. Set Expectations for Response Times

This last tip is even more important with remote work because it’s harder to pop in on a colleague to check in. Be sure people know what kind of turnaround time they can expect from you when it comes to responding to email. This way they know when they need to follow-up with you, if at all. 

I respond to all emails from colleagues and clients within 24 hours — and they know that. If I can’t respond fully within that time, I still respond with a confirmation of receipt and a timeframe that they can plan on. For example:

Hi Julie,

Thanks for sending me the workshop plan for next week’s session. I won’t be able to fully review it today but will be sure to have it back in your hands by mid-day Thursday. 

Michael

Julie now knows I received the email and did not miss it, and when she can expect to hear back from me with the completed action item.

It’s All About Helping Each Other

Remember that emails, and chat and text messages for that matter, are stripped of much of the nuance we get from more robust ways of communicating like face to face conversations. When we have the benefit of nonverbal communication like tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language we can more easily assign meaning to the messages we are receiving. 

When it comes to email, we all need to take the extra time to help set each other up for success.

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

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Virtual Meeting Preparation Tips

Make Your Virtual Meetings Matter

Good meetings are planned well, and then facilitated in a way that makes them productive. Here are some tips for running effective virtual meetings and, more importantly, making them matter to your team.

Have a Clear Purpose and an Agenda

Be sure the reason for the meeting is clear to you. Then, communicate it out to the invitees beforehand. This way they can come to the table ready to contribute appropriately.

I use this list of potential goals when planning a meeting, which I got from a podcast featuring Mamie Kanfer Stewart. If the goal doesn’t fit into one of these six categories, then I likely don’t really need a meeting:

  1. Connect
  2. Align
  3. Decide
  4. Ideate/brainstorm
  5. Plan
  6. Produce

Set Ground Rules

Conducting meetings remotely isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be quite painful, for hosts and attendees alike. The technology doesn’t always work as well as it should, and the many distractions your team has in the remote setting can be numerous (and beyond your control). When I host virtual meetings, I make sure I set some ground rules right at the start. Here’s my list of possible requests from the group (I may use one or more of these depending on who is invited, and the number of people on the call):

  • Mute your audio when you’re not speaking (if there is a large group)
  • Mute your audio only if there is background noise (for small groups — I like lively discussions whenever possible)
  • Let’s make this a distraction free zone (a simple reminder to silence smartphones, close down email, and set Teams or Slack to Do Not Disturb mode)
  • Keep your video on (or off in certain situations like when the group should be focusing on one speaker only)
  • Find the chat box now because you may need to use it (I often plan for some type of interactivity using chat)
  • Raise your hand if you want to ask a question (for large groups, I have the nonverbal feature turned on in Zoom that allows every participant to do this digitally)

Encourage Participation

A meeting that is interactive will naturally be more engaging. Ask questions, seek input, and if you must talk for a long stretch of time, check in with your group along the way to make sure they are following (or if they need any clarification). 

Take Notes

Designate someone who is responsible for taking notes and make sure they provide a summary of decisions made and action items (noting who is responsible) to all attendees after the meeting. This removes any ambiguity related to who heard what and what everyone is supposed to do next.

Skip the Video (Sometimes)

Video calls can be exhausting because our eyes and brains have more to track than when on an audio-only call. This is especially true with numerous people on the call.

Video calls certainly have their place and should be used when seeing each other makes sense. However, consider when an audio-only phone call is the better option. For my coaching sessions, I often start with a call and then fire up video or a screen share when needed.

Use Visuals

Even when you’re on an audio call, a good visual or two can help support your messages and engage participants. Consider opportunities to share a graphic or bring up a few slides over a screen share. 

Smile Before You Begin 

Even when the meeting is without any video, your audience can still sense your enthusiasm, or lack thereof. Reminding yourself to smile and exude positivity will help make others feel more engaged during the call. 

After all, if you don’t sound like you want to be there, why should they?

Want more tips for better communication when leading remote teams? Talk to me about a one-on-one or group session of my workshop Communicating Your Best When Leading Remote Teams

Photo by bongkarn thanyakij from Pexels

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Virtual Background Tips for Zoom

Better Virtual Backgrounds for Online Meetings

During some recent Zoom meetings, I’ve received a lot of compliments on my virtual background. I created it after a lot of trial and error, so I thought I would share my final methodology in case it helps you to develop something that works for you.

The Case for a Virtual Background That Works

My home office looks fine when I’m on calls, but I’ve grown tired of tidying up my work table and getting the room lighting right each time I want to jump on a call. Also, when I record my courses and host my online workshops, I want my branding to be present on the screen at all times.

Going Green

After people tell me they like my background, they always ask, “Do you have a green screen?” The answer is no. I’ve had one in my Amazon shopping cart for months, but never bought it because I don’t have room in my office to keep it up all the time — and I know I would get frustrated setting it up several times a week. That’s why I wanted to try to get Zoom’s built in virtual background feature to work for me without a green screen.

My Approach

I use Zoom to rehearse my presentations so I can record them and watch them back. That’s how I find out where my bumpy points are. When rehearsing with the standard virtual backgrounds in Zoom or Teams, I noticed that the main area where the backgrounds had trouble tracking me was around my hair. 

So, that was step one when designing my virtual background. It had to be close in color to my hair so people would not notice if Zoom wasn’t clipping my head perfectly.

The second step was to get the lighting right. I make sure I’m lit from the front (I use a diffused lamp with a daylight bulb that is strategically placed behind my laptop’s screen so it does not reflect in my glasses). I also have a second lamp with a soft white bulb that helps provide additional light and that makes my skin tone a bit warmer.

The third step in my trial and error approach was to make sure I was not lit from behind. If I have another light on in the room that is behind me, Zoom has a harder time tracking my silhouette. But when I minimize light behind me and ensure most of the light in the room is in front of me, Zoom does a better job. 

Lastly, I had to fidget with the logo placement to get it right, and also recruit the help of a friend to make sure the logo wasn’t backwards (like it was for me because I use the “Mirror My Video” setting in Zoom).

It’s Not Perfect

My method isn’t perfect. If I gesture too much sometimes parts of my fingers disappear. I’m sure if I had a green screen the background would look even better. But for now, it works just fine for my needs. 

I hope my approach helps you create a virtual background that works well for you.

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Better Nonverbal Feedback in Zoom

Zoom Nonverbal Communication Features

Many people don’t know about the enhanced nonverbal feedback feature in Zoom (which is off by default). By enabling this feature, you and your participants get an extra set of icons in the participants box. This allows your meeting attendees to raise their hands, answer yes or no questions, ask for a coffee break, and more! 

I like these nonverbal features more than the “Reactions” feature when I give workshops or conduct long meetings. I ensure my meeting participants know about them and I ask them to use them to communicate with me. For example, in my online workshops, I have several instances where I ask my attendees questions and direct them to answer me using the green and red yes and no icons. 

Using this feature along with the chat box helps me make my virtual meetings more engaging. It also helps me read the room more easily, which can be tough in the virtual setting.

Photo by Morning Brew on Unsplash

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